


There Are No Winners in War (Well, That’s a Lie)

by 108am



Category: SS501
Genre: Bullying, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Gen, Gift Fic, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Immaturity, LiveJournal Secret Santa, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Other, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-10
Updated: 2011-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 15:03:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3733279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/108am/pseuds/108am
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All’s fair in love and war, but KyuJong still needs to pick a side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Are No Winners in War (Well, That’s a Lie)

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://gyonggo-ss.livejournal.com/profile)[gyonggo_ss](http://gyonggo-ss.livejournal.com/); written for [](http://snoozing-kitten.livejournal.com/profile)[snoozing_kitten](http://snoozing-kitten.livejournal.com/). This probably could have been better, I have no excuses. ;____;

It started out as a normal dispute—something about eating the last package of ramen, and not leaving a note to buy some more. No one was sure who had started the petty fight—although a few of the members betted on HyunJoong being the culprit—but over the course of the next few days, the entire atmosphere had begun to feel like a warzone.

Childish pranks like spiking the carrot juice so a certain person would get drunk at nine in the morning would result in the victim retaliating with a vengeance just as immature. It was not long before the other members found themselves choosing a side in this silly ongoing “war.”

HyungJun instantly chosen Jungmin’s side, partly because he understood Jungmin’s devious mind better than their leader’s 4D way of thinking. On the other hand, he also knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of Jungmin’s violent ways, so it seemed like a better—and _safer_ —idea to be the attacker than the victim.

YoungSaeng wasn’t exactly sure _why_ he had decided to join HyunJoong’s side. Perhaps it was because they were closer in age, but that didn’t really say much considering they were both constantly reminded of how awkward they were around each other, which quite frankly, just made things even more awkward.

The only member who had decided to remain neutral was KyuJong.

“I don’t like choosing side,” he told everyone frankly, earning himself a harsh glare from Jungmin and a subtle annoyed look from HyunJoong.

Jungmin shoved HyungJun forward, who promptly started to clear his throat and gathered his composure. “Hyung, join our side and together we will defeat the evil dog and otter.”

KyuJong gave the youngest member a peculiar look.

“ _That’s it?_ That’s all you could come up with? You are so _useless_ ,” Jungmin hissed the last word as he glared daggers at HyungJun this time.

“W-well then, _you_ try to persuade him.”

Jungmin remained quiet, choosing instead to turn his attention elsewhere. Suddenly, Jungmin’s eyes widened as he staggered towards HyunJoong and YoungSaeng, a finger was pointed shakily at them. “What are _you two_ mumbling about?”

“Nothing,” the two oldest members answered together.

Jungmin knew something was awfully wrong.

 

 

Later that night, Jungmin and HyungJun discovered rotten fruits and vegetables in their beds as a result of catapulting into them instead of carefully removing the comforters like normal people.

Jungmin swore vengeance while HyungJun grimaced at the squished moldy tomatoes clinging to his chest.

 

 

In the next room, HyunJoong and YoungSaeng exchanged delighted giggles at the sound of Jungmin shrieking when HyungJun started making questionable retching noises.

 

 

In the living room, the couch was hard and lumpy, but KyuJong still found himself sleeping peacefully in spite of all the war cries in the bedrooms.

 

 

When YoungSaeng opened his eyes the following morning, he let out a blood-curdling shriek when he realized he was face-to-face with a human skull. He shot up in bed, and let out more horrified screams when he realized small skulls were surrounding the perimeter of the bed. Next to him, HyunJoong continued to sleep, and YoungSaeng found himself trying to resist the urge to grab a skull and slammed it into the other man’s head to wake him from his comatose state.

“Stupid, h-how’d I let myself into this.” As he tried to calm his racing heart, YoungSaeng could hear laughter outside the bedroom, and at that moment, he wished his glares could penetrate the door and pierce the two youngest members.

 

 

“This is a bad idea, guys.”

“Quiet, KyuJong, either you’re with us or you’re against us.”

“B-But—”

“Not. Another. Word.”

“…”

 

 

“No more,” their manager hissed, staring at the five young men standing sheepishly in front of him, all eyes were focused elsewhere. HyungJun’s idle humming seemed to irritate the manager ever more. The manager pointed at the top of his head, and continued, a faint growl could be heard in the back of his throat, “No more of this, or any other shenanigans you five are up to.”

HyunJoong raised his hand.

“ _What?_ ”

“In our defense,” HyunJoong started, pointing at both himself and YoungSaeng for emphasis, “That shampoo was meant for Jungmin.”

Jungmin let out a choked cry of indignation. He then paused, reconsidered what HyunJoong had said, and finally nodded his head sadly, “He’s right, I wouldn’t have look good with neon green hair.”

“If this doesn’t wash out, you five are in big trouble,” the manager warned, giving HyunJoong an extra special glare after having heard his confession.

KyuJong raised his hand.

“What, KyuJong?”

“I told them not to do it.”

“Fine, fine, you may go.”

The remaining four members gaped as they watch KyuJong happily strolled out of the room. HyungJun grasped onto the manager’s arm, mustering up his best cute face, “Hyung! Why’d you let KyuJong hyung go like that? If any of us—”

“KyuJong is not a troublemaker, unlike you four.”

When the manager turned away, HyunJoong and Jungmin exchanged look, and they smiled, silently agreeing to join in alliance to seek revenge on KyuJong for being neutral throughout the prank war.

 

 

“You guys…”

HyunJoong and Jungmin turned to look at the door in front of them, opened only enough to reveal KyuJong’s head and his bare shoulders, and they smirked.

“This is not funny…”

“You’re right,” Jungmin said sadly, his head seemed to drop a little to show his despondency. “It’s hilarious! Now get out here, KyuJong hyung.”

“ _No!_ ” The heavy whine and panic in KyuJong’s voice could be heard clearly, and that only made HyunJoong and Jungmin grin wider. “This is _mean_.”

“You should have a picked a side.” As he waited for the other man to come out, HyunJoong started to amuse himself by playing with Jungmin’s hair, twirling the dark locks all sorts of direction.

“What the hell did you guys do to all of my clothes?”

“Donation,” the two pranksters answered unanimously.

“Wh-where did you get all of these weird animal costumes?”

“Hyung…knows a guy,” Jungmin said, a faint hint of worry could be made out from his voice.

“I am not coming out wearing any of them!”

“That’s fine.” HyunJoong stopped his idle playing for a moment to look at the closed door in front of him. “You can come out naked, I’m sure there are a lot of fans that would prefer to see you like that instead.”

“…Jerks.”

“We love you too, KyuJong!”

Behind the door, sounds of costumes ruffling against each other could be heard, and after a moment of silence, HyunJoong and Jungmin watched as the door creaked open, and KyuJong waddled outside wearing a penguin suit, his face was painted a deep shade of red.

HyunJoong and Jungmin grinned widely. “We really do love you, KyuJong.”

“…Jerks.”


End file.
